Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just had sex bonerless
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
