I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
