i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
