Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
