I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
