i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
