I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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