so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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