Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just high enough for therapy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
