You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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