You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
