He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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