I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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