was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
