we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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