you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
