dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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