so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just high enough for therapy.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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