Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
