Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
