You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize