Apparently you make a good broom.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
