I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
