Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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