So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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