I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
