We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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