Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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