So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
either way he was missing a nipple.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
