where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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