I puked a lego.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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