as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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