yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
