Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
