we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No subtext here. People are naked.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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