This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
