Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
