I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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