What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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