I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
