we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My vagina is officially offended.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
