I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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