I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
