these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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