he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
