those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Who died my cat blue again?
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