yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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