look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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