She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
