I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
