Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It's just like the Real World with babies
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
