Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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