I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
