And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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