it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
