I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
