I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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