i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Verdict: uncircumcised.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
