remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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