there was a trapeze. enough said
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
