And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
too bad you live with your parents still
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
