I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
