Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize